In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize