Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
