Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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