i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize