This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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