dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
