Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
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