I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
