You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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