Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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