im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
