she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize