Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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