i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
