That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
