VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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