this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
