I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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