You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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