it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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