You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
