So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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