I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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