shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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