I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize