I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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