so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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