When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize