I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
