Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
