Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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