His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
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