We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize