Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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