he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
