Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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