Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
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