Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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