When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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