the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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