Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize