So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
