Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
