The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
