What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
