I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he puts the penis in happiness.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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