The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I came so hard my ears popped.
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