I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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