Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
