what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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