Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
