I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
pray to the hookup gods
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
