How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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