I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
