Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
