I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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