So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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