i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize