You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
it was like his penis was on wheels.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
