that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
