would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
What drink are we having for lunch?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
